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Surprise Wedding
The other night I watched "Surprise Wedding", the latest offering from Fox, who brought us the ill-fated and now infamous "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire". If you missed this show, I congratulate you. It did, however, further prove my contention that men are much more romantic than women.
The premise of this show was simple. Five women, fed up with boyfriends who wouldn't commit, lured them to Las Vegas under the pretense of taking part in a Millennium Makeover show. There the women were treated to wedding gowns and rings and were asked to record little vignettes about how they met their sweethearts and how much they loved them. The prospective brides ranged in age from 24 to 36, were all attractive and seemingly intelligent, and all told detailed stories about why their mates wouldn't commit: messy divorces, age differences, financial insecurity. All of them thought it financially advantageous to get married that evening, right there on stage, if their boyfriends would agree.
After drawing out the vignettes and sappy love stories as long as possible - it was a two hour show - the audience was hushed, the lights went down, and each hapless boyfriend was brought out on stage and ambushed with the words "Welcome to your Wedding!"
Each guy, of course, was completely flummoxed. They all looked around blinking, smiling uncertainly at their girlfriends who stood nearby in a spotlight and said things like "I think we're ready to get married." The men were not allowed to speak, and were then wisked away to a little room where they were videotaped pacing and mulling over what had to be the most bewildering event of their lives.
The men were given nearly two hours to think this over, and, in a truly tasteless and completely unreasonable take off of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire", were given thirty seconds to phone a friend and ask for advice. This, of course, was broadcast as well. Hardly anyone was composed enough to actually ask their phone friend what to do. Only a couple of them got any kind of answer, considering that the person on the other end of the phone was as confused by the whole thing as they were.
The brides then got to make a final plea to their boyfriends by speaking directly into a camera that broadcast their message into the waiting room. We could see the looks on the men's faces as they watched their girlfriends tear up, pledge eternal love, and, in some cases, reveal to a few million people how devastated their men had been after being jilted by a former love.
Then, the moment of truth. Each guy was dolled up in a tuxedo and put out on stage with his waiting bride to give his final answer. They were, of course, allowed to say no. The first guy out balked a bit, effectively asking his girlfriend "You mean right now?" but when the blood drained out of her face and she said "You're making me nervous" he caved in and said "Of course I'll marry you."
And he did, right down there, centre stage, courtesey of a Justice of the Peace. The wedding, by the way, was only legal after they went back stage and signed the licence. Viva Las Vegas.
Some of the other guys had it even tougher. Their girlfriends dropped to their knees and pleaded with them, tearfully, close up camera three. Two of the men did the honourable thing and raised her off her knees only to kneel down himself and propose to her. All of them eventually said yes and got married, and the show closed with the host introducing the five new happy couples.
It was morbidly fascinating to watch.
The biggest problem I had with this show was the fact that women who were supposedly in love with their boyfriends would lie, deceive, cajole and fanangle them to the altar, would force them into a marriage they weren't really ready for, would place them on the spot in an embarrassing situation, would reveal to the world at large their personal trepidation and broken hearts and would reduce their wedding to a thirty second soundbyte on Fox tv in front of millions of total strangers.
This is not romantic. If these women were trying to convince gun shy men to try marriage again, or to convince their boyfriends that they truly loved them and could be trusted with their hearts forever, why on earth would they pull a stunt like this? If these poor guys were unsure about whether to get married or not, forcing them into it on the spur of the moment is not going to make them feel any better. Marriage under duress is grounds for annulment, after all.
As much as I'm in favour of marriage, as much as I'm encouraged by the thought of marriage becoming fashionable or sexy or something young people are happy to do, I am discouraged by the way in which it is being used to boost ratings among viewers hungry for voyeurism and artificial schmaltz. Very few people watching this show could come away with the impression that the institution is serious, sacred, or something that requires considerable thought.
The saving grace of this show was that it demonstrated how truly wonderful most men are. Watching their faces as their girlfriends pleaded with them, it was easy to see they loved these women and were touched, in spite of everything, by their professions of love. Each man rose to the challenge, each one came out on stage like a true gentleman and told his lady how much he loved her, each one said his vows and slipped on a ring in spite of the lights and the audience and the emotional rollercoaster he'd just been on. And each one made the woman he loved the happiest woman in the world.
There may have been some doubts later. There may have been some serious discussions, maybe even a little anger once the dust had settled and they were finally alone. But these men were heroic when it mattered, more concerned with their lovers' feelings than with their own discomfort, and wise enough not to break her heart at such a crucial time. I suspect that each one of these marriages will survive the bizarre way in which they began, mostly because the husbands loved their wives enough to overcome the indignity their wives put them through.
I hope Fox doesn't run any more of these ambush type shows. I hope women, hoping for a big wedding and encouraged by how easy it is to embarrass your mate into marriage on live tv, don't start springing surprise ultimatums on their boyfriends. Perhaps not all men would react as well as these gentlemen did.
These Surprise Brides truly don't know how fortunate they are. It's a lesson women should learn about the goodness of men, and how it is they, not us, who really know what romance is.
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