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Jerry Maguire
One of the best marriage movies ever produced wasn't really about marriage at all. It was about a sports agent who "ate two slices of bad pizza and grew a conscience". It was about a schmoozer, a shark, an insincere manipulator who found integrity, and ultimately, great success. Woven in between the noble ideas was an even nobler one: marriage to someone you love is what makes every success worth having, makes money worth earning, makes life worth living.
If you haven't seen this movie yet, stop reading and go out and rent it. If you have seen it, please read on.
Writer/Director Cameron Crowe may not have realized just how many profound home truths he was hitting on when he penned this screenplay. It doesn't matter if he did. What resulted was probably the most engaging commentary on, and the most pro-value approach to marriage that Hollywood will ever produce, for many reasons.
The set up was terrific. Dorothy Boyd, a widowed single mother, in love with her adorable young son but unhappy with the marriage she had to his father, falls in love with the noble spirit and heroic morality of the newly inspired Jerry Maguire. This in itself is a breakthrough for Hollywood, this idea that you love someone for a reason, for the content of their character. It's so rare for a movie to show us, in no uncertain terms, why someone is head over heels in love. It makes the drama that much more believable, makes it so much more compelling than if we are simply expected to believe deep love grew out of two characters' appreciation for each other's bodies. It's as close to tangible as love ever gets.
But what's even more amazing is what Dorothy does after they're married and she discovers that Jerry isn't really in love with her. She tells him that it isn't good enough. She tells him that even though he's a great guy who loves her son and likes her a whole lot, she can't live like that. Even though it's clear that this isn't an easy choice for her, she takes responsibility for ending the relationship before either one of them wastes any more time. There are few other characters who demonstrate the kind of pro-value emotional fortitude it would require for a single mother to hold out for someone who really loves her rather than settle for someone just because he'd make a good dad for her son. There are few characters who behave with such grace, such wisdom, and even fewer still who espouse the idea that individual happiness is worth holding out for. When Dorothy said goodbye to Jerry she became a heroic figure herself, holding fast to her sense of self-worth and her belief that nothing short of a man who really loved her would do.
Once he's been set free, Jerry naturally realizes what a fool he's been not to let himself fall in love with such an amazing woman. When he comes back to her and sees her sitting amongst the support group for divorced women that Dorothy's sister hosts, he doesn't know that she just finished telling them that men may be the enemy but she still loves the enemy. He thinks he has to pour his heart out to her to win her back. He thinks he has to regale her with what brought him back to her. He thinks he has to convince her to let him stay by saying "You complete me. " But Dorothy just tells him to shut up, saying "You had me at hello."
The women in the support group, usually so vocal about their bitterness and animosity towards love and marriage, grow silent as they witness this scene, and even start to cry.
It isn't a perfect storyline, but it is believable and emotionally intense, the kind of thing that makes us examine our own cynicism and question our lack of faith in marriage. It is the kind of thing that shows us what can happen if we identify our values, pursue them, refuse to settle for anything less, and wait.
But as far as perfection goes, there is nothing more perfect than Crowe's other genius creation: the marriage of Rod Tidwell and his wife Marcy. Tidwell is a cocky, loudmouth football player who lives large and loves life. Marcy Tidwell is his supportive and outspoken wife, who fights for her husband's due even while about to give birth to their second child. This couple have it all. They love each other like two moonstruck teenagers, kissing and caressing each other in restaurants, comforting each other when they face setbacks. They respect and admire each other, fight to the teeth for each other. They value each other and their children above all else. Rod loves the game of football and wants as much money for playing it as he can possibly get - but his motivation is to provide for his family.
Cuba Gooding Jr. won the best supporting actor oscar for his portrayal of Rod Tidwell, an honour he richly deserved. Even his acceptance speech was as boisterous and exuberant as his character was, and from all accounts he loves his real life wife - his high school sweetheart - as much as Rod loves Marcy. As wonderful as Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger's performances were, Cuba Gooding Jr. stole this show right out from under them. The movie is worth watching for his performance alone.
Jerry Maguire is not just a romantic comedy or a sports movie. It is a movie about life lessons, a movie we can learn from. It is one of the rare movies that manages to teach us something and entertain us at the same time. It is an experience more than a movie, an experience that anyone interested in marriage or in need of a positive view of it should have.
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