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When She Cuts Her Hair...Look Out
When your wife, who has had long hair since you've known her, suddenly decides one day that a nice shoulder length bob would flatter her more, or worse, comes home out of the blue one day with all her hair hacked off, look out. This is probably around the time she'll stop having sex with you, and probably around the time she'll start mentioning breaking up, or divorce. At the very least, you should understand that she is going through something very emotional, very unpleasant, and more than likely, something very much related to you.
When a woman cuts her hair off, it's not about wanting a cute new look, no matter what anyone says. It's about sheer emotional turmoil. If you don't believe it, just look at what's been happening in Hollywood.
Nicole Kidman cut all her hair off, spontaneously, and then a month later her divorce was announced. Jennifer Aniston hacked off all the hair that she was famous for immediately after her wedding to Brad Pitt, and later told Vanity Fair about the tremendous stress she was under during and after the wedding and how the first year of their marriage has been the hardest of her life. If you looked into the lives of every celebrity who had long hair for a time and then snipped it off, like Kim Bassinger or Meg Ryan, among others, you would find emotional stress and strife, and usually, divorce. You'd also find all that luxurious hair grown back as soon as the lady has found happiness with a new love. The only mystery here is why more people haven't caught on to this subtle, but deadly, warning sign.
But why should this be? Why should a woman's hair have anything to do with her emotions?
Because hair, for almost every woman, represents femininity and beauty, and sometimes, therefore, what she thinks of herself. When you deal with these aspects of a woman, emotions naturally run high.
It's no accident that stressful or unpleasant days have been dubbed "bad hair days", since the emotions a woman feels when things aren't going well are almost as unpleasant as what she feels when she just can't get her hair to look nice or lie flat or conform to the style she wants. And conversely, you'll never see confident sexuality and buoyant self esteem more magnificently displayed than in a woman who has gorgeous hair and knows it. A woman's emotions are more closely linked to her hair than to any other part of her, as any woman who seeks out a wig after chemotherapy will tell you. Samson, the biblical figure who lost his power when Delilah cut off his hair, should have been written as a woman.
Not every woman can be physically beautiful. We women all know, and lament, this fact. But almost all of us have the ability to grow long, feminine, beautiful hair, something that is not only rewarded and encouraged as a sexual, sensual, beautiful thing by men but also something that doesn't require genetic good luck or unreasonable effort to attain. With one simple swirl of our long shiny locks, we can feel attractive, sexy, playful, young and vibrant, even if nature didn't endow us with big breasts or long shapely legs. We know that beautiful hair makes even the plainest woman instantly more attractive to men, and that one dollop of sweet smelling shampoo and a loose cascade of touchable, shiny hair over the shoulders makes our men go weak in the knees. We spend thousands of dollars a year on shampoos, conditioners, hair dyes, highlights, trims, perms and hair accessories, partly for the pleasure it gives us to make a part of ourselves as beautiful as possible, but mostly to illicit that turning head or that smile of delight on the faces of men we admire.
This is, of course, one of the key reasons why it's such a clear indication of displeasure when a woman cuts off all that beautiful hair. Women know how much men love their hair, and so when they cut it all off they are effectively cutting men off, from their beauty, from their attractiveness to them, from their love. It's a clear gesture of defiance, or dissatisfaction, or despair, a spiteful kind of emotional kick in the balls.
It may not be consciously done - I doubt many women go into their beauty salons and tell the stylist they want a buzz cut just to alienate their husbands - but it is a very real signal that something is wrong. Many women, for whatever reason, are uncomfortable speaking their minds and expressing their emotions fully, and often try to repress their feelings. Strong feelings will find a way out though, somehow, even if they manifest themselves in the quiet rebellion of a new haircut. Like the women who deny their husbands sex out of anger or emotional upset, women who cut their hair are denying their husbands the pleasure they know they derive from it.
I believe it is also a kind of mute request for understanding, a warning shot she fires at her man in the hopes that he'll snap out of his apathy or bad behavior and realize that he's hurting her in some way, or ignoring her, or failing her as a husband. It is the ultimate hint. It's also usually the last hint he'll ever get. By the time she reaches for those scissors she's exhausted every other avenue she can think of to solve her problems and put her marriage back on track. Unless he catches on, the marriage is in trouble.
If your wife comes home with a shorter hair cut one day, consider yourself warned. Talk to her. Find out what's really bothering her. Even if she claims she just wanted a new look, make absolutely sure there isn't something else bothering her. Tell her you don't believe she would do something so drastic on a whim. Chances are she'll appreciate the fact that you've noticed a bigger change in her than simply the length of her hair. And on the off chance that just wanted to copy Jennifer Aniston's shorter look, she'll be touched at your concern for her and for your marriage.
Whatever you do, don't ignore it. If you do, her hair won't be the only thing to go.
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