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Marriage Movies at a Glance
On other pages I have written detailed reviews of some excellent marriage themed movies like Jerry Maguire or The Family Man, but there are plenty of other films out there to boost your spirits about marriage or provide valuable lessons about the pitfalls that can ruin a good one. Most of these films are more than five years old, and if you haven't seen them yet and want to, please skip the review so it won't be spoiled for you. In no particular order, here are several good marriage movies you might want to check out:
While You Were Sleeping - romantic comedies like this Sandra Bullock vehicle are generally panned by critics because they are formulaic, predictable, and ultimately built on a shaky premise. But not every movie has to be designed for the academy awards, and sometimes the real value of a movie lies in its ability to make you feel good about your values, about love, about the feelings we've all had about relationships from time to time. This movie is particularly good at showing that if you base your admiration of someone on how they appear to you, without knowing who they really are, you will probably be disappointed to learn neither their character nor your love for them is what it seemed.
A Walk in the Clouds - the only thing most people have to say about this movie is how terrible Keanu Reeves is as an actor. This amounts to critical analysis for most people, but only amounts to pettiness and jealousy to the rest of us. This movie is cinematographically beautiful, and the entire film is embued with an eroticism and tenderness rarely seen in modern film - and all without the actors taking off their clothes. It details how two people can essentially do everything wrong - marrying someone you don't know, having an affair with someone who doesn't love you, lying to your family (and needing their approval in the first place) and then going against your own desires because of your "obligations" to someone else - and still end up happy once the right choices are defended and properly made. It's a pro-value film, and so critics naturally hate it.
The Mirror Has Two Faces - The idea behind this Barbra Streisand/Jeff Bridges movie is simple: a love-weary college profeesor (Bridges) who believes sex "spoils everything" decides he has the best chance of happiness in marriage by marrying the intelligent but frumpy English professor Rose (Streisand) but not allowing sex to ruin it. She agrees to this out of sheer loneliness, but finds she wants more out of marriage than celibate companionship, and is then rejected by her own husband. What results is a physical transformation in which frumpy Rose turns into Professor Babe and makes her husband fall madly in love with her. At first glance it appears like another one of those "ugly duckling" stories in which love only comes if you lose weight and get hair extensions - but the essence of this movie explores what is necessary for a marriage to work. Sex and sexual attraction is an important component of marriage, and so is understanding this fact.
Love Stinks - from the title and premise of this French Stewart/Bridgette Wilson film, you might think it's a movie about the evils of marriage. This, surprisingly, isn't true in this film, which highlights instead how being wedding-crazy, and how thinking that all it takes to get married is a size six body and great smile has nothing to do with love. It's a comedy that doesn't intend to make any profound statements about the nature of marriage, but it's value lies in exposing the very real and very destructive attitudes that some people have about marriage. If you're a girlfriend hoping for the proposal one day, it's worth watching to learn what not to do.
Shirley Valentine - at first glance, this movie appears to be somewhat down on marriage, through the cheeky yet charming performance of Pauline Collins as the long suffering Shirley. But the real point of the movie is about what to do when you're wedlocked, and don't want to just give into it as an inevitability of married life. A typical "chick flick", it may not appeal to men but it is witty and unpredictable enough to charm anyone. Shirley even manages to make adultery almost seem like a necessary component of her recovery - almost.
Only You - as far as romantic comedies go, the premise of this Marisa Tomei/Robert Downey Jr fluff is flimsy and far-fetched - until you realize that people often convince themselves of far flimsier and more far-fetched "requirements" for a potential mate. Is it so hard to believe that a woman would abandon her fiance, and then reject the real man who loves her, because of her mystical belief that she is destined to marry a man with a certain name? Don't some of us ignore the real gems in front of us because we believe we're meant for a fantasy lover, or a supermodel, or a movie star? The movie makes an important point about not dreaming yourself out of love.
The Age of Innocence - a lush period piece that explores the issue of social acceptibilty versus personal happiness. It is set in a society of the past that had harsher rules of etiquette and more rigid social rules, but it nevertheless rings true today as an example of how impossible it is to subvert your values in favour of your "duty", or what everyone expects you to do.
When Harry Met Sally - an extremely popular movie of the late eighties, it followed the decade old friendship of Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, friends who believe alternately that men and women can't be friends, and that friends can't be lovers. It takes these two best friends ten years, various other relationships and heartbreak, fights and missteps and faulty beliefs before they finally figure out that there is no better basis for a marriage than a close friendship ignited by mutual sexual attraction.
Like Water For Chocolate - based on Laura Esquivel's novel about the tragedy that befalls a young Mexican woman who is the victim of her family's traditional values and prevented from marrying the man she loves. It is heartwarming in parts and has the same playful, almost fantastical touches that Chocolat had and relies heavily on situations that are more symbolic than realistic - however it is entirely watchable, and makes it clear how inviolate a person's right to pursue her own happiness is.
There are many other films that have something useful or positive to say about marriage, but these are some of the best. Enjoy.
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